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MY JOURNAL ENTRIES

Dr. Stephen R. Phinney

HERE IM LORD

This online journal contains highlights to my written journal that has become more than ink on paper; it’s a sacred space where I pour out my heart to the One who knows me intimately. It’s where I pen my conversations with Jesus Christ—the Savior who walked dusty roads, touched lepers, and calmed stormy seas.

Special Note: I believe the Lord talks to His Saints. I hear Him and record what He says.

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MY ENTRIES

Wokeism: Lord, I need to delve into the topic of “Christians and Woke Culture.” As you know, Lord, in recent years, the term “woke” has gained prominence, and it’s essential for Your Son's Bride to understand its implications. I want to write on this topic but need Your Holy inspiration.

Here is what I'm thinking. The concept of being “woke” has permeated our cultural discourse. Originally, I understand it referred to being alert to social injustices, particularly racism. However, its meaning has evolved, and as Your children, we must critically examine its impact on our indwelling faith in Your Son.

 

Lord, when I checked the definition of “woke,” it states it is someone who is alert to injustice in society. While this seems harmless, the reality is more complex. Imagine a buffet where soft-serve ice cream tempts us away from the nutritious salad bar. Similarly, “woke” ideologies often distract us from the firm foundation of Your Word. I define “woke” in this context: being “woke” is an authoritarian worldview that seeks to deconstruct the believers indwelling faith foundation by overwhelming those who don’t adhere to Your immovable doctrines.

I see it as the Battle of Neo-Paganism: Wokeism simplifies people based on skin color or other external factors. Advocates often show hatred toward Your authentic believers who don’t conform to their ideas. Ephesians 5:14-15 revealed to me Your Holy Word warns us to stay awake, discerning the world’s philosophies and the devil's deceptions. Your children need to fill their minds with Your wisdom in order to 
identify mindsets that oppose Truth, Your Son. However, Lord, how do I encourage such lukewarm minds to do so? 

As My Son's Bride, each must be discerning. Stephen, you already know this cannot be obtained unless My Holy Spirit lives within those who claim to be His Bride. There is no greater challenge than this. While many say they know Me and My Son, I must declare I do not know these people. They seek out My righteousness but know Me not. Stephen, your focus must remain on separating the goats from the sheep by emphasizing the difference between studying My Son versus being filled with the My Holy Spirit. I will remain faithful in inspiring you to clearly share the 'how' to reject the ideologies of Satan that undermines eternal faith and prioritize My Son above all else.

Uncorrectable: Lord, you know me, I detest the idea of not being able to pin down vague people. If there was a cultural sin that Satan could populate that would block indwelt leaders from correcting self-proclaimed believers, this one would do the job. Jesus, I know this is not a news flash for You. You have been dealing with people who avoid your mandate - Let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' be 'no.' Anything above and beyond this is of evil. but as for this old-time prophet, it is beyond annoying.

 

From Your perspective, being unclear or vague will always lead to confusion, misunderstanding, and even deception. As for me, this defines the organic meaning OF deception. Your Word emphasizes the importance of clear and truthful communication. I recall In Proverbs 15:28, You saying, “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.” Does this mean that the result of a so-called believer being vague will ultimately spout evil opinions? I think, yes. Since I am pretty sure this is a demonic, evil plan to block You from evangelizing the lost and redirecting Your people, the enemy seems to be winning hands down. Lord, as you know, I encounter droves of people every day who simply cannot be corrected. Directing these vague people to a "yes" or "no" seems daunting to say the least.

 

People who consistently avoid giving a straightforward ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer can create a cloud of uncertainty and ambiguity. It’s like trying to decipher a coded message without the key. Lord, this is frustrating. This lack of clarity can lead to confusion, misinterpretation, and even mistrust. You have made it known to me that clear and direct communication is essential for building and maintaining Your Great Commission, both personally and as ministers of the Gospel. Do You have a Word of Wisdom for me on this demise?  

I do, My son. The closer it gets to My Son's gathering of His Bride, the more the people will avoid a 'yes' or 'no' answer. My enemy knows that a 'yes' is required to come unto Me through My Son. His evil plan to form what you call a vague people, will certainly reduce the opportunities for new life. You must be patient as I am patient. Conduct ministry in like manner of My Son, correct in love and trust the results to My Holy Spirit. Stephen, as you know, the numbers on this path will be few. Do not push for numbers, embrace the faithful few. In this, you will discover great rewards.  

The Unpardonable Sin: Lord, you asked me to do a study on the depraved sin of blasphemy. Ok, this was off the charts eye opening. I can see why this is the most debated topic in Christendom. Often, Your people ask, what is the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit? From what I see, the Pharisees had already committed it. They had violated the works of the Holy Spirit released through You when You demonstrated Your miracles (Matt.12:28) by giving credit to the devil. I learned that this particular sin was without excuse and would NOT be forgiven in their age or in the coming generations (Matt. 12:32). People often ask if the unpardonable sin is possible today. As I see it, the same kind of violations occur today - the masses continue to ridicule the manifest work of the Holy Spirit in believers.

 

When our culture, and its people, commit this particular sin, it shows me the answer to the "why" this is unforgivable on Your end. I see today it connects us to the same sin the Pharisees committed, who crucified You on the Cross. These intellectual depraved men literally accused You of Your miracles being of Satan. What a diabolical influence these men perpetrated onto the generations that followed them. 

 

I learned that the masses could insult you directly, even our Father, but when it is against the Holy Spirit, Your power source, well, this is an entirely different matter. So, in my mind, when we sin against Your power source, the Holy Spirt, we step over the line of forgiveness. Ouch! Empower me to never do such a thing. 

 

Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is the unpardonable sin. I get it now, Lord. I also know now that any sin committed against You or Abba Father is forgivable. However, every sin that is knowingly and willfully committed against Your power source, the Holy Spirit, is a despiteful attempt of manipulation of the Spirit of Grace, an opposing, contradicting, and denying the operations of Your indwelling manifestations, or doctrines revealed by You, by turning around and calling Your acts of miracles as evil - Lord, it is likened to someone assaulting my wife. Since the Holy Spirit within us IS what makes us Your Bride, I see now that it is an insult to Your design and the Bride functioning as Your Body.  

 

Ok, I think I get this. When anyone insults the Holy Spirit by calling the Spirit evil, out of willful and obstinate malice, is purposing to lessen the glory of You and our Abba Father, and gratify his or her own lusts: matches the sin of the Scribes and Pharisees; who, though they knew the miracles of Christ were inspired by the Spirit of our Father, yet maliciously and obstinately associated them as being the works of the devil, with a view to obscure the glory of You as the One and only Christ, and indulge their own wicked passions and resentments against You; thus this sin was unpardonable, resulting in an attempt to block the Spirit of God to pour down upon the converts freely for generations to come. So, Jesus, what can I do to encourage the masses?

 

Stephen, hear My Words. Impart to the people that I am a forgiving God. If and when one of My created beings insults My Spirit by associating the Spirit with being evil, warn them, admonish each, and clearly reveal that My forgiveness is withheld under such malicious sins. Let them tear their robes, but do not hesitate to proclaim My immovable stance on this. Stephen, be aware that this proclamation will instigate hatred. Find comfort in this hatred, for the Lord your God, will stand with you as I did with My Son.  
  

 

Sexual Misconduct: Jesus, as I reviewed my online Social Media feeds today, I was overwhelmed with the level of complacency of sexual misconduct, imagery, and lighthearted attitude toward immorality. Honesty Lord, it is likened to the acceptance of evil as a norm.

I know that Your Holy Word provides guidance on many aspects of life, including sexuality. According to Your Word, sexuality is Your gift to the union of marriage that should be cherished and celebrated within the context of marriage between one man and one woman. I am in agreement to the Truth that when you join a husband and wife together, they ARE one flesh, which is the sanctity of marriage. But Lord, this is fading in our society and churches rapidly.    

I sit here today thinking how sexual immorality, which includes any type of sexual activity outside of Your ordained marriage of male and female, is not only sinful, but is spreading like a cancer. I know some who claim to be Your children who advocate premarital sex, adultery, pornography, homosexual and many other acts of self-pleasure as acceptable. Dear, Lord, what has happened to Your people?

I confess that I don't understand how self-proclaimed believers can accept cultural norms around sexuality by using the excuse that times have changed over time and that what was once sin is a human right. Seriously, are all these believers of this depravity really known by You? Or how else can they state immorality as a cultural context, scientific understanding, and a personal conscience that justifies their depraved views on sexuality? Please inspire me to make a difference in this cray - cray world. 

I am asking You for Divine inspiration through the Holy Spirit to write this week through me on matters that matter to You.

Stephen, my son, put your fingers to the keyboard and I shall pour out My Spirit within you. I will give you clarity on My Divine creation of the human body, how I designed it, and what the consequences are if the people dishonor the way I created the human body to remain under My protection. Go now, and I will reveal this everlasting Truth.

I Am Tired: Lord, I am tired. I come to You weary and heavy-laden, burdened by the demands of ministry. Just as You grew tired during Your earthly journey, I too feel the weight of caring for others. The odds and ends of daily life wear me down, and sometimes I wonder if I can keep going. My body hurts, my mind bends toward weariness, and I constantly battle the enemy's lies. But Your promise resonates in my heart: "Come unto me, all you who are weary, and I will give you rest." You understand exhaustion, and You invite me to find solace in Your presence. So, I pause and seek You. I wait upon You, longing for renewal.

 

Cause my mind to center down in stillness, surrendering to Your Spirit. Let it vibrate through every painful nerve and sinew, revitalizing my soul. For in quietude, You come to me, breathing new strength into our tired bones. May I learn to rest as You did, even amid life’s storms. Thank You, Jesus, for being my refuge and strength. In this ministry journey, I find rest in You.

Stephen, rest my child. I will renew your mind. 

 

Loneliness: Lord, this morning, I woke up burdened for a sister in Christ who is suffering from loneliness. She carries a burden—a burden not of her own making, but one entrapped by the threads of isolation and longing. Her soul, like a fragile vessel, yearns for companionship - a deeper connection with You, for the warmth of shared laughter and the embrace of kindred believers. Yet, in her solitude, she discovers a sacred space—a place where our Father's whispers of comfort fade, where tears are collected in Your bottle, and where her loneliness becomes an altar of surrender. Jesus, we as fellow believers, war with loneliness. However, I lift her burden to You, our burden of loneliness, to reach across the chasm of aloneness to remind her, that she is seen, known, and cherished by You, me, and many others who walk beside her even in the dark cave of loneliness.

 

Stephen, I have heard your prayer. I have placed this pennooyah woman in your path to watch over her. Your compassion for her is honored by My Kingdom. Remain faithful in interceding on her behalf. When I look into her soul, I see redemption and a promise. A promise that one day soon I will gather her unto Myself. Until that moment, I will comfort her soul through My Son's relentless compassion. Stephen, always remember, My people are frail and tossed about by the winds of My enemy's deceptions. Remain faithful unto the end.      

 

What's The Point: Lord, I am warring with my flesh. Honestly, there are days that I hate my neurological disease. I am tired, exhausted, and wanting to say, "What's the point." I know You are faithful in all of Your ways, but on days like today, my lack of faithfulness simply gets in the way.

I confess my faltering faith—the tremors in my hands are daunting and constantly threaten to topple my passion to write. I admit, on certain days, my prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling, and heaven seems distant - often wondering if You hear me at all.

But then I remember the cross—the rugged wood that held Your broken body. The blood that flowed, washing away my sins and doubts. You endured abandonment, darkness, and the weight of the world—all for love.

And yet, I dare to doubt.

When life’s storms gather, I clutch these stupid doubts like a security blanket. Fear whispers, ‘What if?’ What if You don’t come through? What if my prayers remain unanswered? What if my faith isn’t enough? What if I don't endure to the end?

But You, Jesus, are the Author and Finisher of my faith - I know this in my head. I confess this! You don’t despise my mustard seed-sized trust; You nurture it. You meet me in the wrestling, the questioning, and the tears, AND in my pain.

I confess my need for signs and wonders. How I long for burning bushes and parted seas. But perhaps my faith isn’t about spectacle; it’s about surrender. Yeap, You know me, I love supernatural expressions of Your wonderous wisdom. I love watching You shake the foundation of depraved thinking, yet it's my fleshly foundation You shake today. 

Help me see You in these doubts, Lord. When doubts assail, cause me to listen to the indwelling Holy Spirit, as well as envelop Your resurrection power—the ultimate victory over doubt and pain. I remind myself of the scars—the proof of Your love.

And when I stumble, cause me to release You within me, to get my mind off of selfish pity parties of my sufferings. When my knees buckle, my hands tremor, I drop things in frustration, trip over the smallest of things, and, as You know, at times, swear like a sailor, may I display Your power & strength. When the enemy taunts, release me to hear the whisper of You as Truth into my soul.

I choose to believe, even when my heart quivers. I choose to cling to You, the Rock that doesn’t shift with the tides of my doubt. Even though it is difficult at times, thank You for grace when I am such a mess—the unmerited favor that holds me when I lose sight of holding on to Your indwelling Life.

Stephen, I will remain faithful to impart to you, My faithfulness. I see your sufferings. I know of your commitment to honor My ways. I see you when nobody else sees you. What I see Stephen, is a redeemed child who is already made perfect through My Son. I never look upon your fleshly mind or deeds to judge you. I look upon your willingness to be as My Son, strong, righteous, and filled with power. Know Me not by what I can do, rather know Me by who I am. Stephen, go in peace. Share My Word with the multitudes. Command their attention with the power of My wisdom. Show them, I am He. 

The Confused: Lord, I am compelled to lift up the souls who wander in confusion, their ears deaf to Your voice. I intercede for those who stubbornly turn away from Your truth, blinded by their own desires and doubts.

I remember the prodigal son, who squandered his inheritance in a distant land. His heart, once aligned with Your will, strayed into the wilderness of rebellion. Yet, even in his darkest hour, You waited with open arms.

Today, I pray for the prodigals—the ones who reject Your wisdom, who scoff at Your commandments, and who chase after empty promises. I cry out for their return, knowing that Your indwelling Life is boundless.

You see the hearts entangled in confusion—the skeptics, the agnostics, the hardened souls trenched in their depravity. They question Your existence, dismiss Your miracles, and mock Your Word. Honestly Lord, it drives me "crazy." Their pride erects walls, shielding them from Your love. Why, Lord? Why do they live like a horse without a brain? What is the secret to busting through their passivity and ignorance? 

But there I remember, Your mercy reaches beyond human comprehension - certainly mine. You pursue them like a relentless Shepherd seeking the lost sheep. You whisper through Your Holy Spirit, creation, through conscience, through the stillness of their passivity.

I pray for softened hearts, starting with mine—for the scales to fall from their eyes. May they hear Your voice in the rustling of depraved ideologies, lies, smugly laughing at Your doctrines and in the quiet moments when doubt tosses them like waves - may they come to know You. Lord, please call them back to the roots of Your Word.

Break down their intellectual barriers, Lord. Unravel the knots of skepticism and hate. Reveal Yourself—the Alpha and Omega, the Author of life in every nasty thought and intension within their hearts.

I lift up the doubters—the philosophers who dissect faith like it is some kind of infectious cancer, the wounded who question suffering, the seekers who wander aimlessly within their minds. May they encounter You—the Way, the Truth, and the Life in such a way they CANNOT doubt.

And for those who refuse to listen, I plead for divine intervention - an intervention that cannot deny the power of the Holy Spirit. Pursue them, O God, until they surrender. May their rebellion crumble, replaced by humble surrender to You as Life, and Life abundantly.

I've got this, Stephen. I hear your prayer. You must remember that My Son's path is narrow, and few are on it. Many of children, that I have created, will deny My Son to the end by clinging to their vain philosophies. For I Thy Lord and God will not tolerate this kind of rebellion. Hardened hearts are hearts mastered by My enemy. Stephen, be bold, brave, and unmovable in My prophecies. I will make Myself known through the words I put upon your tongue. Be as your brother, Jeremiah, weep, but do what I ask of you. Tell the nations that My Son is soon approaching. Reveal to them the power contained within repentance. Hesitate in your closet but be bold as a serpent and gentle as the dove, like My Holy Spirit, when you proclaim Me.   

Gratitude of My Wife: Today, Lord, I woke up filled with gratitude for the woman you gave me. It's Mother's Day. I ask that You give me a creative expression of my gratitude and love for Janie. 

Once upon a time, in a quaint village nestled amidst the rolling hills of Kansas, there lived a mother and grandmother named Jane. She was known far and wide for her gentle spirit, her eyes reflecting both the warmth of the sun and the depth of her Dutch heritage. Jane’s days were filled with threads of love, and her heartbeat was in rhythm with the seasons.

Jane had three daughters, Abigail, Elizabeth, and Jessica. Their laughter echoed through their humble home, and their eyes held the promise of a thousand tomorrows. But life was not without its trials. Jane’s husband had sailed across distant seas for their blooming ministry, leaving her to tend to their little home and nurture their children alone.

Their friends and family marveled at Jane’s devotion. She was like a lily, delicate yet resilient, blooming even in the harshest of storms. Her hands, calloused from toil, cradled their children’s dreams as if they were fragile petals. She taught them to read by candlelight, weaving tales of faith and courage into every syllable. The Bible became their homeschool compass, and prayer their daily bread.

One spring morning, Jane noticed a patch of barren soil near their doorstep. The earth was hard, unyielding—a reflection of her own weariness. But Jane was not one to accept defeat. She knelt, her fingers digging into the ground, and whispered a prayer. “Lord,” she said, “breathe life into this soil. Let it bear fruit.”

And so, Jane tended to that patch of earth. She watered it with tears shed in secret, and her devotion softened the soil. Soon, a tiny shoot emerged—a fragile sapling with leaves like emerald wings. Jane named it “Grace,” as it was the middle name of their firstborn.

Grace grew, its roots intertwining with the hearts of their children. It flourished, its blossoms releasing a fragrance that reached the heavens. The community marveled anew, for they saw not just a plant but a living parable. Jane’s devotion had transformed barrenness into abundance.

As the children grew, Jane’s role expanded. She became not only a mother but also a teacher, a healer, and a beacon of hope. When the storms of doubt threatened to uproot their children’s faith, Jane stood firm, her arms outstretched like branches, sheltering them. She whispered ancient Biblical truths into their ears, reminding them that God’s love was deeper than any ocean and brighter than the sun.

One day, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden glow upon their humble home, their firstborn asked, “Mother, why do you care for Grace with such tenderness? It’s just a tree.”

Jane smiled, her eyes reflecting the fading light. “My dear,” she said, “Grace is more than a tree. She is a living parable—a reminder that devotion can turn barrenness into beauty. Just as I care for her, God cares for us. His love softens our hearts, transforms our struggles, and brings forth life.”

And so, The Mother and Her Branches became a symbol of Jane’s devotion—a testament to the power of sacrificial love. When her children, and now eleven grandchildren, faced storms of their own—a prodigal journey, a broken heart—Jane remained steadfast. She prayed, watered the soil of the souls of their offspring, and believed that Grace would bloom once more.

In the quiet of her elder years, Jane whispered her final prayer: “Lord, let my devotion be a legacy—a fragrance that lingers long after I’m gone. May my children’s children know Your love as deeply as Yours for me.”


So, the tree continued to bloom, its petals catching the morning dew. Jane’s devotion echoed through generations, reminding all who passed by their humble home that a mother’s love, like God’s Grace, was both fragile and eternal.

Thank you, Lord for Your Divine inspiration.

My Praises: Today, Lord, I shout out your praises. In the quiet of my heart, I raise my voice—a feeble noise in the grand symphony of Your Divine creation. Yet, it is a melody within my heart with reverence, a song that joins the Heavenly hosts as they sing.

O King of kings, O Lord of lords, hear my humble proclamation. You sit enthroned upon Heavenly heights, robed in splendor beyond imagination. Your crown bears stars, and galaxies spin at Your command. The universe itself bows before Your majesty. Should not Your people do the same? 

I shout praises to You—the One who flung planets into orbit, who painted sunsets with hues of fire, and who breathed life into dust. The One who touched the hearts of rebellious souls, who delivered redemption to a lost world. The One who can reform the minds of depraved ideologies. 

 

You are the Alpha—the Beginning of all things. Before time whispered its first syllable, You were. Your thoughts birthed nations, and Your love ignited the linage and nation of Israel. And yet, You stooped low—wrapped in fragile flesh, cradled in a manger. The Word became flesh & dwelt among us, and then indwelt us by way of the Holy Spirit. We are your Temple.

 

O Bethlehem’s Babe, O Nazarene Carpenter, O Lamb of God—You bore our sins upon a rugged cross. You became sin and paid the price in the lower parts - all for the purpose of making our yoke light. The weight of humanity’s rebellion pressed upon Your brow, yet You established forgiveness without works through Your precious Grace.

I shout praises to You—the One who conquered death, who rolled away the stone, and who came forth in resurrection glory. You offered the gift of indwelling Life by being filled with Your Spirit. I praise you for Your resurrection power that is hosted in the hearts of those that received You. You are our King and Husband.

You are the Omega—the End of all things. When the final curtain falls, You remain. Your promises endure like ancient mountains, unshaken by time’s temptations. So, I lift my voice: ‘Hallelujah! Holy, holy, holy are You Lord God Almighty! Worthy are You as the Lamb who was slain!’ O King of kings, O Lord of lords, receive my feeble anthem. May it rise like incense, filling the courts of heaven. May my songs of worship be a tallit for Your shoulders. And when eternity unfolds, when the heavens fade like morning mist, I’ll join the Heavenly chorus—singing praises to You forevermore.  

I am exalted in your praises, my son. I receive your tallit with honor. I am lifted up above all with your sacrificial loyalty to My dwelling place. Your song is honey to My heart. Sing, Stephen, sing. For I shall remember every song, tear, request, and act of loyalty on Heaven's side.   

 

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