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Loneliness Has Benefits

Updated: Sep 8, 2021

Dr. Stephen Phinney


Loneliness tends to be the greatest ‘curse’ known to humanity. People tend to fill this dark place with an endless list of psychobabble ideations.


Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results from perceiving a gap between one’s desires to be connected to the ones we love and actually experiencing the joy of connecting. Though our need to connect is innate, built into us through God’s creative expression, many of us frequently feel alone. In most cases, lonely people often experience this ideation when surrounded by others throughout the day. They seem to be overwhelmed by this feeling even when others are loving on them. They maintain deep and pervasive loneliness even when reality says they are not alone. Research suggests that loneliness is at the base of long-term physical health.



Did you know that leaders are at the top of the list of the most lonely people?


I have studied the life of every President of the United States – in detail. One of the most common warnings from one President to the other is, “The White House is the loneliest place on earth.” Furthermore, many of those Presidents died toward the end of their term of office or died shortly afterward. In fact, loneliness is the leading cause of death to humanity.


Why is it that friends and family surround a lonely person and still suffer this horrid reality? The answer is obvious; the masses miss the innate design of humanity.


Whether a person lives in isolation or not, feeling a lack of connection to the One who created them can be painful and can often result in death. Loneliness can be described in different ways; a commonly used measure of loneliness, our research concludes, the individual has deficits of connecting to the Holy that created them:


  • Feeling a lack of connection between humanity & their creator.

  • Feeling a disconnect between themselves & the supposed reality of Christ living within them through the Holy Spirit.

  • Feeling removed from the Truth of the Word of God & that of experience.

  • Feeling a disconnect with those who seem to live out the Word.

  • Feeling guilt and condemnation for not being able to appropriate what the Word says regarding “you are never alone.”


There is a major difference between “believers” having a relationship with the knowledge of Jesus vs. the Life of Jesus from within. Given the potential risks & consequences for those who feel like “God does not care,” each tends to blame these feelings on the external world – that of no supportive social connections or the ideation that people don’t care – while not realizing that God uses loneliness to draw a people into a dynamic, interpersonal relationship with God through the indwelling Life of Jesus Christ. Truth, this underscores the demand for increased outreach and teachings of the authentic Gospel of Christ in you.


God wants people to feel alone!


Loneliness has benefits. Consider God removing loneliness without accomplishing the mission of why He allows it. If God removed loneliness before loneliness hits its target, He would be advancing idolatry. God, the Life of Jesus, or the Holy Spirit would be invalidating His purpose of feeling alone if the Trinity decided to heal the person before they found the eternal importance of Life from within. It would mute the ultimate mission of evangelism while shifting the human to finding relief through external resources – as in drugs or pop psychology.