Not So Happy

Updated: Oct 1, 2021

Frank Friedman


I once had a "not so happy" woman come up to me and declare with no small amount of intensity, "Frank Friedmann! You are a controller!"


To which I replied, "Yes maam, but you know what the difference is between us? I am willing to admit it!"



We ALL struggle with control issues. We want to control our circumstances, control our kids, control our spouse, control our congregation, and control the pastor... Control! Control! Control!... but dig deeper!


Why? Why do we want to control?

One reason is that we do not want life to surprise us. We no longer live in the garden of Eden where life was harmonious and sure, all the time. In the world we now live in, change is around every corner and most of us do not like change, especially when the change is very often contrary to life as we desire it to be. So, we try to control, but control on our parts, is an illusion. We really cannot control all that much in this world, but we sure try, and that can wear us out.


A second reason we try to control is often missed by many people. We need to understand and embrace that the desire to control is deeply rooted in the lie that ALL of us were birthed into with the help of our brother Adam, that "we shall be as God". Only God sits on the throne of the universe and accomplishes His will with His nature as the Omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent God of the universe. We need to understand, that if we try to be God, it will wear us out because we do not have the resources in and of ourselves to function as God! It’s hard to be God, when you are not God!


By the way, that is why we struggle with wanting to know everything, cannot admit that we do not know all, and find it difficult to admit we are wrong, and feel the need to be strong, and have this crazy thought that we are supposed to be the source of life for others.


God is all those things. He knows all things, He is everywhere, and He is all things to people, and He is strong, and HE IS IN CONTROL! We are not, because we are not God.